Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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