i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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