I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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