everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We have started to decorate penises.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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