my mouth tastes like poor choices
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
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I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
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He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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