Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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