I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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