I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
