STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
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The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
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my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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