She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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