How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
