we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
