After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
