Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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