Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
