I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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