i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Panties = found
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
