My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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