apparently the secret to your success is patron
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
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And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
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I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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