before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
