On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm experimenting with sincerity
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
