i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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