Joe is yelling at the trees again.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
