Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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