it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
