it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
