i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
