Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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