You made me cry and you don't even care
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You brought string cheese to the strip club
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Randomize
