Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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