Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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