Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
