apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
