I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize