I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
