Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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