i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
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