They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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