I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
