He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
