woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
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when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
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Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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