why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
