How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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