so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
