so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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