Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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