I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Randomize
