Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
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I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
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On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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