I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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