I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
