But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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