well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
