I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
