Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
