member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
