There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
