Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
