windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
