what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Randomize
