I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
